1. let’s face it we all have issues
I know some of you might disagree. We seem to live in this mindset where we feel like other people have perfect lives but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
People may not have the same issues as us but everyone is going through something.
Most of our fears and anxiety come from the first 10 years of our life. The cards we’re dealt as a kid, sort of determines who we become and how we treat others.
But no matter how bad it was, we can choose to let go of parts of us that don’t bring us happiness.
2. Self Sabotage
I didn’t even realise what self sabotage was. It was just a normal thing I used to do that weirdly brought some kind of satisfaction. I think it was a way of protecting myself, I mean no one could hurt me if I was already punishing myself.
So I used to create these scenarios in my head of people I love leaving me or betraying me in the future. And it wasn’t like they had done anything to warrant that behaviour either; I just told myself it was going to happen.
These thoughts were very detailed and every time I’d find myself balling my eyes out.
Anyways through luck or perhaps divine intervention I was introduced to lots of self love and inner child workshops.
This helped me see things in a different light and it made me ask the question, “Do I love myself? And what do I really want in life?”
3. Work, Work, Inner Work
I wanted to be happy. I mean I was crying over situations that didn’t happen and it was because I felt others wouldn’t love me but I was the one pushing them away because I didn’t love myself.
So I worked on my inner child and it was tough. Self sabotaging was so much easier than confronting my childhood demons.
But I didn’t want to give up!
Have you ever felt like your life has no purpose? I felt that a lot and I wanted to change it. Also, I wanted to feel enough in every moment.
I realised that I was so concerned with others and what they thought or whether they were in my life that I didn’t even see that crying yourself to sleep is so unhealthy.
And how could I love people if I didn’t love me. I mean wouldn’t I have been expecting more out of them then and that’s not fair, especially considering they’re probably broken on the inside too.
4. Tips to love yourself
I’m going to be real with you. These aren’t self care tips but things you can actually do to fall in love with yourself. And it might not be easy.
- Think about the perfect version of yourself, the one you told yourself you need to be for everyone else. Now imagine how unhappy you would be being that person. Look in the mirror. This is who you are right now and quite frankly you are enough. This is your story. No one has been through life the way you have, not in that sequence. So who set the blueprint? This person in the mirror is the perfect version of you in this moment.
- Talk to yourself more. Ask questions! Eventually you’ll notice this feeling you get. You’ll know what’s true and what you just tell yourself because you’re scared of what the world will think. Listen to you! So many people are afraid of being alone but you really don’t need to try to fit in to belong. Your tribe will find you; they just have to see you first.
- Be love. This is a message I got from my guide. Exude it as much as you can to yourself- to everything!
5. Final Thoughts
I’ve been working on myself for a while now and I thought I had ended my ‘self sabotaging’ habits.
Then it came up again and I realised it was because loving yourself is continuous and if you get too caught up in work, or people then it’s easy for old versions of you to surface.
So I decided to write this article for you because I wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Maybe something in here would help you, even if it’s just having someone that gets it.
Feel free to leave comments if you have other tips you’d like to share.
As always, much love, Shanal.
Purple Empaths 